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The worst albums of 2015 featuring Mumford & Sons and more

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The worst albums of 2015 featuring Mumford & Sons and more

Post by jade1013 on Sun 3 Jan - 10:10

The worst albums of 2015 featuring Mumford & Sons and more

The year's worst in music features plenty of familiar names, including a few Hollywood types who should have kept singing in the shower

By Darryl Sterdan, Postmedia Network

First posted: Sunday, December 27, 2015 09:00 AM EST


(L-R) Marcus Mumford, Jewel and Jeff Bridges all served up some poop this year. (Reuters file photos)

Isaac Newton’s third law of motion states that for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. To convert that into musical terms: For every truly great album, there is an equally wretched album. And since I’ve listed my favourite albums of 2015, it’s only right that I also present an alphabetical list of my least-favourite discs. Here’s to the dull and the derivative, the brutal and the banal, the pointless and the just plain putrid. If you paid for any of these, you have my sympathies. If you’re thinking about it, well, don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Jeff Bridges | Sleeping Tapes

Insert your own Dude joke here. It can’t be any goofier than this. Ostensibly designed to lull you to dreamland with floaty soundscapes and soothing nature sounds, Sleeping Tapes is actually the most unintentional comedy album of the year, thanks to Bridges’ Zen-hippie babbling and surreal bedtime stories. You’ll be laughing way too hard to sleep.



Chris Brown & Tyga | Fan of a Fan: The Album

Two heads are not always better. Not when one belongs to Brown. Contemporary R&B’s most unrepentant dirtball continues his charmless offensive by enlisting the comparatively tame Tyga to help him spin brainless, graphically misogynist sex fantasies for pathetic teenage virgins. Everyone involved in this unlistenable swill should be ashamed.

David Duchovny | Hell or Highwater

I want to believe. But the truth is, the musical debut of X-Files star Duchovny is about what you expect from an actor who just picked up guitar a few years ago. His husky baritone is amateurish and average, his lyrics substitute wordplay for thought, and his country-rock tunes clearly emulate Dylan, Cohen and Wilco. Trust no one who recommends this.


Kenny G | Brazilian Nights

Starbucks are everywhere. Ditto Kenny G. That comparison isn’t random. The corkscrew-haired sax blower was an early investor in the chain. He thinks his input helped spark the frappuccino. And his 14th album — a vanilla-flavoured serving of Latin-tinged smooth jazz — is the kind of blandly inoffensive muzak you’d hear waiting for your venti mocha.

Chris Hadfield | Space Sessions: Songs From a Tin Can

Out of this world? Yes and no. Superstar astronaut Hadfield supposedly wrote and recorded these songs on the space station (though his guitar and voice have been fleshed out with more earthly instrumentation). That novelty aside, they’re just mediocre folk, country and pop ditties no one is going to listen to more than once. Houston, we have a dud.



Jewel | Picking Up the Pieces

Bad breakup, worse rebound. A year after splitting from her husband — and after decades of flirtations with pop, dance, country and more — Jewel ditches it all and starts again. Reconnecting with her troubadour-poet roots, she turns her dozenth disc into a bitter diary of uncomfortably personal and pointed laments of betrayal and loneliness. Swipe left.

R. Kelly | The Buffet

R. Kelly does it again. And by it, of course, I mean: Grosses you out with an album of unsubtle horndoggery and sleazy soul-man pickup lines. And he wastes no time doing it: At the 33-second mark, the spoken-word opener The Poem features a five-second sluuuuurrrrrppp! that will make you laugh out loud, roll your eyes — and reach for the stop button.



Diana Krall | Wallflower

Usually, Krall could sing the phone book and make it captivating. Not this time. One of the usually reliable singer-pianist’s rare missteps, her dozenth album is an ill-conceived, tepid shlockfest of classic AM pop and soft-rock covers — from California Dreamin’ and Desperado to Sorry Seems to be the Hardest Word. She should be sorry.



Mumford & Sons | Wilder Mind

Remember that great little shop around the corner? The staff were smart and cool, and everything was unique and handcrafted? Remember what happened when they got popular? They renovated and expanded and restocked the shelves with a bunch of generic crap to attract more customers? Welcome to the new Mumford & Sons.



Walk Off the Earth | Sing it All Away

“How long, how long?” asks Walk Off the Earth’s Sarah Blackwood. I was asking myself the same thing. As in: How long have I been listening to this patchouli-scented, tie-dyed miasma of suburban reggae-rock? How long until this desperately hip, stunningly derivative dreck is over? And how long until these trumped-up YouTubers go away?




Toronto Sun

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Credit to original photographer, poster, scanner, site & anyone I may have missed in between



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Re: The worst albums of 2015 featuring Mumford & Sons and more

Post by sir on Sun 3 Jan - 10:12

Thanks

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Thank you Maria!
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